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"How disgusting is this? here it is folks, this is the end of the world. A restaurant in Decatur, Georgia is now serving a double bacon cheeseburger that is served between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. We are now officially ancient Rome. This is the end of our civilization as we know it. In fact, they don't know how many calories are in the thing because nobody can count that high!" --Jay Leno

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"It was a beautiful spring day here in New York City today. It was so nice I saw construction workers giving the Statue of Liberty her annual bikini wax." --Dave Letterman

[deskmidart]

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"I can't believe this is a news story. Paris Hilton was in the news today because she burned herself on the exhaust from her new Ferrari. After getting burned she said, 'That's hot.'" --Conan O'Brien


 

More Jokes

That's Not It

Jokes /

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.

This went on for some time, until the general arranged to ...Read More

Marriage

Jokes /

- It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.

- They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.

- He believes ...Read More

Fallen

Jokes /

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked ...Read More

Tasty Dip

Jokes /

I was just taking a dip in the swimming pool when the lifeguard asked, "What have you got there?"

I replied, "Hummus."

Bullying

Jokes /

My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name.

I said, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize, why would anyone pick on you?"

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